Dear RSS
Posted on February 22, 2009
Filed Under Fun, My Life, Weird, web | Leave a Comment
RSS, you don’t love me anymore, do you? Somehow, I don’t think you ever did.
I’ve recently come to realise that our relationship has been nothing but a sham. You entice me with promises of time being saved, of having the newest information from the sites I’m interested in right at my fingertips, of never missing another water-skiing dog or cute little baby bunny video ever again. Then, when my defences are down and I’m at my most vulnerable, you pummel me mercilessly with all the news I Don’t Really Care About. The amount shown in that little number-lozenge in my dock just keeps growing and growing!
And growing (cue gentle sobbing).
“Aha!” you howl like an undead banshee, “I have you now! You’ll never find what you seek!”
“You’ve been fooled by the empty promises falling seductively from my orange lips, and now you will pay!”
Why, RSS? Why oh why? I thought we had something special. I took you in when no one wanted you. I welcomed you into my computing life when you were still so awkward that only the geekiest would give you a second glance. So happy was I, with our burgeoning relationship, that I couldn’t help telling anyone I could find about how wonderful you were. They thought I was slightly crazy. I don’t think they understood how you changed my life.
But now… Oh, the betrayal.
I suppose the problems between us began when NetNewsWire went free. Before that it was just you and me chasing that little fiery fox around, all the time. Oh, and remember when we went on safari together, how wonderful that was?
But NetNewsWire changed things between us. Suddenly, you were there all the time! I couldn’t seem to get away. I just couldn’t find any space. At home, you were there. At work. You began following me around on my laptop.
And I, trapped in a state of total co-dependency, still just keep going back to you for more. I think I must try and seek help.
8669 unread articles. Something must change between us.
Push has finally come to shove.
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